Why Are the Great Love Poems By Men?

I was having a pleasant nightcap with Elvis My Innerly Swinedog the other night. We were talking about poetry and authors and why men always seem to do more writing than women. Especially the great love poetry and love stories seem to come from men, though, at the same time, men seem to also be the most primitive of the sexes, especially when it comes to, well, sex.

So I asked Elvis My Innerly Swinedog, "Elvis, can you tell me why most great love poets are men?"

"That's easy enough," he replied. "Men see a woman and it immediately registers in their minds how much they want to take that woman, rip her clothes off, throw her into bed and pound her until they're both sore. So he takes that base, primitive, even immoral desire and translates it into a thing oF rare beauty, a thing consisting of flowers and poetry, candlelit dinners in quaint Italian restaurants and moonlit evenings watching the stars. What's more, they sit down and write about it, turning the most primitive and ugly of animal impulses into rare, ethereal poetry that reaches into the heavens and depicts women as angelic creatures whose feet barely touch the ground; they make movies in which women are only seen through gauzy filters and with a wind machine blowing their hair; they write songs that compare the objects of their desire to the gods, and make the gods come out wanting.

"Women, on the other hand, look at men, see how they are constantly trying to reach to the heavens, constantly trying to accomplish great things and put their marks on society, constantly battling with their demons, constantly trying to put their stamp upon the world around them, constantly trying to prove themselves. They see man's flawed and tragic soul and in it the beauty of a creature born of clay that all its life strives to become one with the heavens, and then they take up the pen and what do they write? They describe in detail how men only want sex, don't listen when you talk to them and never take out the trash."

At this point, I have to stress that any opinions expressed in this post are those of Elvis, My Innerly Swinedog, and not necessarily mine.


Alyssa-Jayne said…
Smart dog ;)

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